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jennifergearing:

bukakkemonogatari:

image

Booty, sex, beauty.

Seems legit.

Gay, Money, Handjobs.

Strangely accurate.

animedavidbowie:

unrecognizedpotential:

forgottenawesome:

Do You Love Someone With Depression?

If you have a partner or are close to someone who struggles with depression, you may not always know how to show them you love them. One day they may seem fine, and the next they are sad, distant and may push you away. It is important that you know that as a person who is close to them and trusted by them, you can help your friend or partner have shorter, less severe bouts of depression. Mental illness is as real as physical illness (it is physical actually, read more about that here) and your partner needs you as much as they would need to be cared for if they had the flu.

Your relationship may seem one-sided during these times, but by helping your partner through a very difficult and painful affliction, you are strengthening your relationship and their mental health in the long term.

1. Help them keep clutter at bay.

When a person begins spiraling into depression, they may feel like they are slowing down while the world around them speeds up. The mail may end up in stacks, dishes can pile up in the sink, laundry may go undone as the depressed person begins to feel more and more overwhelmed by their daily routine and unable to keep up. By giving your partner some extra help sorting mail, washing dishes or using paper plates and keeping chaos in check in general, you’ll be giving them (and yourself) the gift of a calm  environment. (I’m a fan of the minimalist movement because of this, you can read more about that here.)

2. Fix them a healthy meal.

Your partner may do one of two things when they are in a depressed state. They may eat very little, or they may overeat. In either case, they may find that driving through a fast food restaurant or ordering a pizza online is just easier than fixing a meal. Eating like this, or neglecting to eat will only degrade your partner’s health, causing them to go deeper into their depression. Help your loved one keep their body healthy, and their mind will follow. This is a great article that talks about the “Brain Diet” which can help the symptoms of depression, and this article talks about how our modern diet could contribute to the recent rise in depression. Here is a recipe for a trail mix that is quick to make and has mood-boosting properties.

3.Get them outside.

 The benefits of getting outside for a depressed person are huge. And it is possibly the last thing on earth your partner will want to do. Take them to be somewhere in nature. Pack a picnic and lie in the sun, take a leisurely hike or plant a garden. Being barefoot in the dirt, or “earthing” helps ground the body and reverse the effects of living in a world of emf’s, and digging in soil can actually act as an antidepressant, as a strain of bacterium in soil, Mycobacterium vaccae, triggers the release of seratonin, which in turn elevates mood and decreases anxiety. Sunshine increases Vitamin D production which can help alleviate depression. My friend Elizabeth wrote an excellent post about Vitamin D and its link to depression here.  For more information about other sources of Vitamin D, this is a great post as well as this.

4. Ask them to help you understand what they’re feeling.

If your partner is able to articulate what they are going through, it will help them and you better understand what you are dealing with, and may give insight into a plan of action for helping your partner. Also, feeling alone is common for a depressed person and anything that combats that feeling will help alleviate the severity and length of the depression.

5. Encourage them to focus on self-care.

Depressed people often stop taking care of themselves. Showering, getting haircuts, going to the doctor or dentist, it’s all just too hard, and they don’t deserve to be well taken care of anyway in their minds. This can snowball quickly into greater feelings of worthlessness since “Now I’m such a mess, no one could ever love me”. Help your loved one by being proactive. Tell them “I’m going to do the dishes, why don’t you go enjoy a bubble bath?” can give them the permission they won’t give themselves to do something normal, healthy and self-loving.

6. Hug them.

Studies show that a sincere hug that lasts longer than 20 seconds can release feel-good chemicals in the brain and elevate the mood of the giver and receiver. Depressed people often don’t want to be touched, but a sincere hug with no expectation of anything further can give your partner a lift.

7. Laugh with them.

Telling a silly joke, watching a comedy or seeing a stand up comedian will encourage your partner to laugh in spite of themselves. Laughing releases endorphins and studies show can actually counteract symptoms of depression and anxiety.

8. Reassure them that you can handle their feelings.

Your partner may be feeling worthless, angry and even guilty while they are depressed. They may be afraid that they will end up alone because no one will put up with their episodes forever. Reassure them that you are in the relationship for the long haul and they won’t scare you away because they have an illness.

9. Challenge their destructive thoughts.

A depressed person’s mind can be a never-ending loop of painful, destructive thoughts. “I’m unlovable, I’m a failure, I’m ugly, I’m stupid”. Challenge these untruths with the truth. “You’re not unlovable, I love you. You aren’t a failure, here are all the things you’ve accomplished.”

10.Remind them why you love them.

Look at pictures of happy times you’ve had together. Tell them your favorite things about them. Reminisce about your relationship and all the positive things that have happened, and remind your partner that you love them and they will get through this.

(via The Darling Bakers)

More people need to know this.

This is so incredibly important. I’ve seen people with depression ostracized so many times, and I cannot stress how much it means to each and every person I’ve tried to reach out to after whatever “falling-outs” they’ve had due to depression. Remember to always be compassionate and kind to all friends like this, because you never know what they’re going through.

(via petrak)

thefrogman:

Doodle Time by Sarah Anderson [tumblr | twitter | facebook]

tamorapierce:

priceofpeasinpersepolis:

I HAVE SO MANY EMOTIONS RIGHT NOW

Me, too!

siren-comstock:

sometimes i think about how portal was a game with no male characters, featuring a WOC protagonist and an excellent female antagonist who were both anything but sexualised, and yet somehow still managed to create an interesting and engaging experience for female and male gamers alike, win awards, and get a sequel, and then i look at people who say “games with female protagonists don’t sell” and i laugh. for a very long time.

(via boyinthemachine)

He lit a cigarette. His glass of whiskey lit a cigarette. “I can only truly love my dead best friend,” he said, “but not in a gay way. Women wouldn’t understand. They’re too gay.” Both of the cigarettes agreed.
from Mallory Ortberg’s hilarious “Male Novelist Jokes.” (via coketalk)

(via boyinthemachine)

hmasfatty:

so-so-gender-fly:

Can we all please stop sensationalizing transgender people…specifically, trans women? Phrases like, “used to be a man” are so overly simplistic and reinforce the notion that trans women are lying or being disingenuous. How about, “The Highest-Paid Female CEO in America is a Trans Woman….HOORAY!”

Your desire to sell magazines does not trump the safety and advocacy that trans women so desparately deserve. While this is a wonderful circumstance, it is hardly representative of the lives of most trans women in this country. When we attempt to celebrate a white, upper class, trans woman with unhealthy phrases like this, we will only find ourselves doing damage to the ones down here with the rest of the us. Or the ones we keep below us.   

This is a complicated situation (I have literally just finished reading this article) because that is the way that Martine Rothblatt talks about herself.

“I can’t claim that what I have achieved is equivalent to what a woman has achieved. For the first half of my life, I was male,”

In some circles Martine would be seen as genderqueer rather than trans

She is a person for whom gender matters enough to have undergone radical surgery, but not enough to care whether she’s called he or she.

What she prefers to be called is “Martine.” To her four young grandchildren she is “Grand Martine.” [Her wife] Bina Aspen…calls herself…“Martine-sexual”. [Her children] call her “Dad.”

In 1995, just after her transition, Martine published The Apartheid of Sex, a slim manifesto that insisted on an overhaul of “dimorphic” (her word) gender categories. “There are five billion people in the world and five billion unique sexual identities,” she wrote. “Genitals are as irrelevant to one’s role in society as skin tone. Hence, the legal division of people into males and females is as wrong as the legal division of people into black and white races.” Instead, she suggested, people might better express their gender and sexual identities on a spectrum, perhaps in terms of color: Green might be “an equally aggressive/nurturing person who does not try to appear sexy” (lime green someone a little less aggressive), and purple someone gentle, nourishing, and erotic in equal measure.

I am well aware that the scarcity of trans representation in all forms of media & positions of power means that people look to any prominent trans person/story as representative of ALL trans people, so I can see how this language could hurt people who don’t identify with it. But in this case it is very clearly appropriate for THIS trans person. I don’t want there to be only one way to be trans - even if some of the ways are at odds with each other, even if it makes things more complicated. Suppressing certain trans narratives because they aren’t neat or easy doesn’t help anyone.

I don’t know what Martine Rothblatt’s thoughts are on all the language in this article & certainly there are sentences that I cringed at but she is a fascinating person who I had never heard of before today & who is well worth reading about. She is a transhumanist who started a pharmaceutical company to save the life of her daughter, who built a robot so that her wife would live forever and who started her own religion based on the ideas of God as technology and love as essential. Martine has a very different narrative to other prominent trans people of the moment & I think this headline expresses that.

Bolded for truth.

nudityandnerdery:



Ah, yes. The lycandyke. My favourite fur covered paranormal.

nudityandnerdery:

image

Ah, yes. The lycandyke. My favourite fur covered paranormal.

(via lordquinton)

snarkies:


I can’t pass up an opportunity to draw a merm!


carbonbasedfangirl:

fuzzykitty01:

davusignavus:

rudimentree:

davusignavus:

i liked the page for my school’s lgbt* center on facebook and my mom just sent me a message that said

image

“now all of china knows you’re queer”

please deliver this reply to your mother:

image“perfect”
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she laughed so hard i think she exploded

It’s back and still beautiful!

oh my god

(via ask-romano-blog)